We middle-class candy junkies swap sweets and colorless smiles, eating animals with faces unseen, exchanging mild attempts at humor and courtesy. i am one of them, even in genuine gestures of affection, under constant surveillance of my monstrous lack of awareness. i feel so out of touch.

i'm just a silly woman who's more content with a small mind; knowing less equals more belief in this assumption of control. i am always one slip away from being another one of "them"... What i am and what i do makes little difference as a bitty byte on someone's bottom line except to those people to whom i am responsible and that i could or do love and they make all the difference in the world.

i miss feeling like i could fly. i miss you. In the midst of my well-managed world, i miss you.
Names and faces. Names and faces. Names and faces with empty feelings for me...