Semi-desolate Silence

i've realized that the people i love are my passion.
Reflecting on my life, the only thing i seem to do with consistency is pine for the beloved absentees that used to occupy substantial time and space in my life. Once i've associated a face with a feeling, it's hard to ignore the vacancies that bygone visual delight leaves behind.
Adult life is both rewarding and restrictive.
i've found someone to slather with unwholesome amounts of attention and affection; that is good.
i've found no job compatible with my drive for creativity and compassion; that is less good.
i've lost all sorts of friends to business, illness, inconvenience. It's not friendships losing luster, rather long lapses of life in the doldrums. Lapses that afforded great loneliness alongside great companionship in the understanding of disappointment.

*Today, i did 4 loads of laundry, hit up some hard athletic cardio and roasted a whole chicken (to compliment mashed potatoes and green beans). i really need to revise my website. And be a better friend.*

i saw The Wrestler and i loved it.
i saw Gran Torino and genuinely enjoyed it.
i saw John Edwards and adored every minute of it.